Thank you, Jazz. I hope to get to know you better when I’m not in this depressing condition. Ha.
Hm.. I know.. It’s natural. But for it to get this intense..? It’s pathetic. It gets in my way of /actually/ drawing. Silly. Don’t you think?

A-the-shade, I don’t want to burden you with this even further. Knowing you showed some concern made me feel better. It’s enough for me.

Ahh, you two. Always here, it seems.
I’m not really ok. Envy. That’s all… Of another artist. It never used to happen this often before. I don’t know how to get rid of it. Not even my own words of motivation work anymore.

Here’s a quick drawing in response to something my relative told me most frequently. "Draw something else besides those ugly squiggles. Use that ‘realistic art book’ I bought you!" 
Those ‘ugly squiggles’ is my current style, as I’ve been told by my own kith and kin. I’ve given up on their constant depreciating comments and it somewhat feels like I’ve grown immune against them, too. But I cannot forget the shameful pain it caused me.
I finally begin to understand that the only one I should be competing against is myself. Against the most recent sketch, the most recent finished work of art, against my lacking perseverance and I know that I’ll reach a point I never dreamt of. Just like I did now. Just like I did four years ago.
Good thing they taunted me into drawing this, because I know what  I envision. Granted, perhaps in the future I’ll pick up a style with a realistic touch. But for now, I’m happy with what I have so far.

Here’s a quick drawing in response to something my relative told me most frequently. "Draw something else besides those ugly squiggles. Use that ‘realistic art book’ I bought you!" 

Those ‘ugly squiggles’ is my current style, as I’ve been told by my own kith and kin. I’ve given up on their constant depreciating comments and it somewhat feels like I’ve grown immune against them, too. But I cannot forget the shameful pain it caused me.

I finally begin to understand that the only one I should be competing against is myself. Against the most recent sketch, the most recent finished work of art, against my lacking perseverance and I know that I’ll reach a point I never dreamt of. Just like I did now. Just like I did four years ago.

Good thing they taunted me into drawing this, because I know what  I envision. Granted, perhaps in the future I’ll pick up a style with a realistic touch. But for now, I’m happy with what I have so far.